Almost all football fans love players who fall into the so-called ‘sh**house’ category.
Well, maybe love, maybe hate: they divide opinion, of that we are absolutely certain.
In truth, you’ll probably find that some players charm you for their cheeky, sometimes downright outrageous antics.
While with others, you may find their performance unbearable, or the way they finish off opponents a step too far.
In fact, if you’ve been unlucky enough to witness a master of dark deeds inflicting his ‘domestic’ on your own team, then that might be enough to put you off the guy for life.
It really can be so deep, we’re not playing games.
But who are the biggest sh**houses within the beautiful game right now?
We have named, who we feel least, to be the top 11.
The 11 biggest shithouses in world football
The Liverpool and Barcelona legend is certainly at the swansong of his career now that he has returned to the club where it all began, Nacional.
However, we all know all too well the antics of the Uruguayan that have tarnished his career.
Branislav Ivanovic and Giorgio Chiellini will attest to how big of a shithouse Suarez is, as will his dentist.
And let’s not forget the entire nation of Ghana, for whom Suarez ruined their World Cup dreams by becoming a complete goalkeeper and knocking the ball out of his own net before it could cross the line.
Sure, Suarez was sent off but Asamoah Gyan missed the penalty, Suarez celebrated on the sidelines and Uruguay won the penalty shootout. Oh.
Another incredibly polarizing former Premier League striker, Chelsea fans love Costa like a son.
If you support any other club, well, he’s the last person you want to see terrorizing your centre-backs.
Countless supposedly ‘tough’ defenders fell victim to the industrious and no-nonsense Spaniard over the years.
And he loved every second of it.
Perhaps the greatest defender of his era, there was simply no department that Ramos fell short of when he was in his pomp.
Being an excellent shithouse was certainly no exception to that rule.
Working in perfect conjunction with partner Pepe, Real Madrid’s two central defenders were a threat to any forward line they came up against.
And we all know what Mohamed Salah deliberately did in the 2018 Champions League final, let’s admit it now.
While we’re on the subject, why not talk about your partner for a brief second?
When it came to Pepe, you never knew if he was going to headbutt his opponent or drop to the ground pretending to be hurt, but you knew something was going to happen.
The Porto man appears to have settled down slightly as he has aged, however, in his prime, Pepe was probably the most unpleasant player of his era.
Portugal’s Vinnie Jones seems like a good nickname for him, even though they didn’t strictly play the same position.
Ah, the man of the moment. Of course, we’re talking about the man who inspired this very article, as when Richarlison started making Keepie Uppies to poke fun at the latest Nottingham Forest players, we couldn’t help but applaud his housery.
The man had only been on the field for a few minutes, but he still had the audacity to take the royal mick in spectacular fashion.
Never far from controversy, the Brazilian, and he is certainly someone to watch as the 2022/2023 Premier League season unfolds.
Richarlison brags for no particular reason, Johnson tosses him beautifully into the air. Satisfying to see.pic.twitter.com/5v2Cu4dJym
— Parted Beard (@PartedBeard) August 28, 2022
From one maverick striker to another, so even if we’re real and have some respect for Zlatan’s name for all he’s accomplished in his career, that’s where the similarities end.
The great Swede takes no prisoners when speaking to the media and will absolutely not tolerate fools.
His discussions with Pep Guardiola are well documented, and he even had the nerve to drop the “I’m a Ferrari among Fiats” quote when discussing his role in MLS.
To be fair, I wasn’t wrong.
The German center back isn’t as well known for his housery as some other members on this list, however don’t be fooled, he can be a real threat at times.
Whether facing challenges or engaging in a bit of argey-bargey with his opposite number, he must be a nightmare to play against.
However, his crowning moment came when he took a bite out of Paul Pogba at Euro 2020 in true Suarez style.
– ITV Football (@itvfootball) June 15, 2021
You know what time we’re talking about, England fans…
“Come home” was the chant on the lips of all Three Lions fans since the group stage began, when England reached the final football fever had gripped the nation.
England went 1-0 up within minutes at Wembley Stadium and the nation was convinced their time had finally come.
Ronaldo to Chelsea ON✅ Zaha Advanced☑️100m Cast Antony! Arsenal STAY UP! Haaland is WORLD CLASS! (The Soccer Terrace)
However, Italy had other ideas, winning on penalties and breaking the hearts of the English.
After the final whistle, Bonucci walked up to the camera and shouted “Roma is coming!” – Talk about rubbing salt in the wounds, Leonardo…
Chiellini, another Italian gladiator, angered the English fans when he brazenly tore Bukayo Saka to pieces to prevent him from adding a second to the home team’s early lead in the European Championship final.
But in the previous game he had already shown that he would do anything to take home the trophy…
After Italy and Spain achieved a hard-fought draw, Chiellini could be seen playfully hitting Spain captain Jordi Alba before penalties, in what many feel was an attempt to gain a psychological advantage.
Check out the incident below…
— OGCOM (@OGambling) July 6, 2021
Martínez showed that he was an exceptional goalkeeper and a master of mental games when, in the Copa América, he psychologically destroyed Yerry Mina before the Colombian could take his penalty.
The Argentine was heard yelling “I’m going to eat you” to Mina and letting her know where the penalty was going.
He duly went the right way and saved the try.
Great mind games by Emi Martinez ?? pic.twitter.com/pACn2Bto30
— Football Photos (@photosofootball) July 7, 2021
Vardy scores against Wolves, you know what comes next… the speedy Englishman running towards the opposition support and howling as loud as he can until the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.
That’s the kind of housery Vardy loves to partake in. He’s not necessarily one to make nasty tackles or run his mouth, he talks it up on the field, but when the opportunity presents itself, he never hesitates.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, must be respected.
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