It has come to my attention that I have not commented on Husbands United (a secret society) for some time. Well, there’s a good and adequate explanation for that, other than me being lazy. For the uninitiated, Husbands United (a secret society) is an organization dedicated to helping a husband in distress, who may not even be sure why she’s in trouble. This excellent institution was established some years ago where we lived until recently. It still meets and, like before, I can’t tell you where or when it meets. As mentioned above, it is a secret society. The reason is that we are dealing with matters of happiness and marital bliss for the spouses. So when HU learns that a husband is in trouble, a member contacts him and offers to help.
When HU finds out, the husband is usually quite desperate and accepts the invitation. He is then escorted to the meeting blindfolded.
I should mention that finding a meeting place was sometimes difficult as a good sized room at a rec center required us to have a club name to reserve a room. For some time, we were known as the North Dakota Badminton Club.
Then one night two ladies from North Dakota showed up just as we were helping a husband in need. We told the ladies that we had just finished the meeting, but a couple of boys would be happy to play badminton with them. Well they did – and they were cream.
After that we kept changing names. We had some interesting meetings. I was the Very High Potentate as it was recognized that my harmonious experience with La Rubia de la Casa made me the most qualified. The most difficult case we had involved the husband who went golfing. He stayed for a long 19the with some friends last night and came home just as the guests were leaving for their 45th anniversary! With HU’s total dedication, we were finally able to get him back with the wife. However, it was expensive – for him! Most of the cases were quite simple, such as forgetting a birthday, not remembering that the aggressive sister of the spouse arrived at a certain time, etc. Of course, there was the case where a couple was at a social event and the husband’s old girlfriend showed up. . She had been divorced for a couple of years and locked her husband in a corner. At least that was the husband’s explanation, but the wife didn’t buy it. We fix that too.
Our organization was so successful that some women founded Wives United (a secret society). Unfortunately, the secret part didn’t work out well, as usually by the time the meeting was over, the “secret” part had spread quite a bit in the community. They stopped meeting after a couple of months. As I mentioned, I’ve moved, and I’m not entirely sure how Husbands United (a secret society) is moving. My Associate High Potentate, DG (initials only) has taken office. While he didn’t have my extensive experience, I’m sure he is keeping up the help for distressed husbands. Even his calls for advice have been reduced to just one or two a week.
Now, if only the calls from others to return would stop, that would be perfect!
Barry Evans is a columnist for Villages-News.com