December Postwhore (PW) Thread

[04LemansZ]

I figured we need postwhore threads on here. For those of you that don't know what a PW thread is...it's basically just a random discussion thread. Keep it clean (No nudity. There's a proper section for those that paid :)).

At the end of the month this thread will get closed and there will be a January postwore thread.

I'm making this because I'm bored at work and will be for the rest of the week.

[Bama Z]

postwhore thread ftw :p where do you work at?

[04LemansZ]

postwhore thread ftw :p where do you work at?
I have an on-campus job as a graduate assistant.

[ExtaZ33]

Lunchtime...brb.... :D

[zman]

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I
had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get
married.
There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her
beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was
twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was
bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near
me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to
be deliberate because she never did it when she was
near anyone else.

One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to
come over to check the wedding invitations. She was
alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she
had strong feelings and desires for me that she couldn't
overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once
before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if
you want one last wild fling, just come up and take me.'

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go
upstairs and I made a beeline straight to the front door. I
opened the door, and ran straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing
outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and
said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our
little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our
daughter. Welcome to the family.'

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car.

[jthomas_50]

I'm hungry.....anyone want to buy me some wheels? :)

[OnADimePBS]

Where does everyone work? (Just curious)

I just quit my recent job on Tuesday as a server so I can concentrate on finals and GRADUATION :D.

After college I managed to get a job as a Finance Manager at a company called Ethos Group and I sling brakes on the side :ninja:

[rbruditt]

playing cod4... the shiznit... btw, my menzerna sutff came in :D

[jthomas_50]

playing cod4... the shiznit... btw, my menzerna sutff came in :D

i can beat you at cod4 :)

[AUtigers370z]

playing cod4... the shiznit... btw, my menzerna sutff came in :D

Did you buy Menzerna wheel cleaner?

PS - I'll take you and Josh in COD4 any day :p

[ExtaZ33]

Anybody have GOW2?

[AUtigers370z]

Nah, is it good? I just bought COD5.

[jthomas_50]

Did you buy Menzerna wheel cleaner?

PS - I'll take you and Josh in COD4 any day :p

haha please.....you know you can't hang with me....i'd play with presets and still win :)

[Zya8187]

Here is me being a post whore while being a pic whore. :D

While this thread doesn't have a topic at all, I have decided I need a name for my Z, suggestions ?

[AUtigers370z]

Here is me being a post whore while being a pic whore. :D

While this thread doesn't have a topic at all, I have decided I need a name for my Z, suggestions ?



I think that's a question you will have to answer for yourself sir :ninja:

[04LemansZ]

I think that's a question you will have to answer for yourself sir :ninja:
+1 You have to come up w/ the name. I wanted to name mine Eleanor, but that's Lee's Z's name.

[AUtigers370z]

FYI - I'm now taking donations for Ings +1 sideskirts.. :cool:

[PearlWhite03]

Tolls suck.
Orlando has tolls everywhere.
Therefore, by the transitive property of equality, Orlando sucks.

[Southgachik]

Oh hai my favorite Alabama peeps!:D

[ShiftZ]

Where does everyone work? (Just curious)

I just quit my recent job on Tuesday as a server so I can concentrate on finals and GRADUATION :D.

After college I managed to get a job as a Finance Manager at a company called Ethos Group and I sling brakes on the side :ninja:

I am a Parts Quality Engineer for Nissan at the plant in Canton,Ms. Always wanted to get into the parts business on the side, just never have gotten around to it.

[Southgachik]

I"m an MRI/CT tech and now a PT employee at Rx Performance!!

[91ZTT]

I

[91ZTT]

want

[91ZTT]

j-specs

[91ZTT]

badly

[AUtigers370z]

I"m an MRI/CT tech and now a PT employee at Rx Performance!!

Do they make car parts? :D

[PearlWhite03]

Do they make car parts? :D

They don't make them, but they sell them...http://www.rxperformancemotors.com/. It's actually where I got wheels and TT kit way back in the day.

[orangebyke]

i need to get back in the gym to work on my six pack......:(

[04LemansZ]

Oh hai my favorite Alabama peeps!:D
Andrea! Where ya been?

i need to get back in the gym to work on my six pack......:(

I've been trying to hit the gym this semester. It sucks going home b/c I know I won't do anything weight-related probably.

[Bama Z]

It sucks going to the rec center after the new year because there is always a ton of people there trying to get in shape for thier new year resolution. But after a few months they give up and it returns to normal :p

[04LemansZ]

It sucks going to the rec center after the new year because there is always a ton of people there trying to get in shape for thier new year resolution. But after a few months they give up and it returns to normal :p
Haha, yeah it's kinda funny. They don't last long. William and I usually go at 5:30 a.m. so crowded-ness isn't a problem :)

[04LemansZ]

Bored at work, I typed in 350Z on Ebay and I'm on page 11 of 175.

[04LemansZ]

Here's a sweet Lollipop cover by Framing Hanley. It sounds awesome in the Z :)

iSEZsfVwbHY

[04LemansZ]

Get on teh Facebook chat...I keep mine open all day long while I'm here :)

[Bama Z]

I got bored so now I'm taking apart my NA motor :) Pics soon to follow

[jthomas_50]

How do you make an eggroll?

Push it.

[ExtaZ33]

Here's a sweet Lollipop cover by Framing Hanley. It sounds awesome in the Z :)

iSEZsfVwbHY

That shit was sick.

[AUtigers370z]

What size rear tires should I get when we roll my fenders?

295? 305?

[ExtaZ33]

What size rear tires should I get when we roll my fenders?

295? 305?

I wouldn't go any bigger than 295.

This guy has 295R with a 10mm spacer on the front too to make it +7 or something.

[ExtaZ33]

Who was it the other day asking about good restraunts in Birmingham? I know all of them just didn't have time to reply when it was asked.

[04LemansZ]

I wouldn't go any bigger than 295.

This guy has 295R with a 10mm spacer on the front too to make it +7 or something.


I'm not feeling that stance for some reason, I like Eric's car the way it sits right now.

[OnADimePBS]

Looks a little too low in the front. I'd hate to daily drive that car.

Elove, do you NEED to roll your fenders or are you going with a more aggressive suspension setup? We didn't rub on the dragon.

Speaking of which, I need to roll and flare my fenders baddddddd.

[ExtaZ33]

Just a little NSFW.......

[ExtaZ33]

Looks a little too low in the front. I'd hate to daily drive that car.

Elove, do you NEED to roll your fenders or are you going with a more aggressive suspension setup? We didn't rub on the dragon.

Speaking of which, I need to roll and flare my fenders baddddddd.

If he goes any wider than 275/35 he will need to roll. No pulling though.

[ExtaZ33]

[ExtaZ33]

[Zya8187]

Who was it the other day asking about good restraunts in Birmingham? I know all of them just didn't have time to reply when it was asked.

That was me bro! :D I'm listening haha

[04LemansZ]

Funny pics Buddy. A couple of the baby ones cracked me up and the animal ones are hilarious. Let me search My350Z and see if I can find some of my favorite pictures.

[04LemansZ]

This one will have to do until I can find the ones I want...



This (http://my350z.com/forum/6585828-post2567.html) is pretty funny, too.

[04LemansZ]

Here they are. They make me laugh every time.







That's just a few of them.

[04LemansZ]

BTW, that girl flashing at ZDayZ...something about those bewbies...they are really pointy, almost too pointy, like party hats. I hope she doesn't belong to anyone here, if so, I'm sorry, just my opinion.

[ExtaZ33]

That was me bro! :D I'm listening haha

You said downtown right?

Fire+Ice in 5 Points is a great all-you-can-eat place, not really anything else like it. There's a big circle grille and you go to a buffet and pick out raw meats. Everything from scallops and shrimp to steak and burgers and veggies and house made sauces, you put it in a bowl and take it to the grille man and tell him how you want it all cooked. You can also get a salad while you're waiting, have some good drinks at your table, or crowd around the grille and check out what they are doing.

The food and drinks were great and I think it was only $12/person on a weeknight.

If you want more recommendations or a different area just say so. I like good restraunts. :D

[ExtaZ33]

BTW, that girl flashing at ZDayZ...something about those bewbies...they are really pointy, almost too pointy, like party hats. I hope she doesn't belong to anyone here, if so, I'm sorry, just my opinion.

Don't hate, just appreciate. :D

[04LemansZ]

Don't hate, just appreciate. :D
I'm just saying...:)

[ExtaZ33]

I'm just saying...:)

Just saying what? That you fucking love cupcakes? I know I do.

[Bama Z]

[ExtaZ33]

Is it motivational time nao?

[AUtigers370z]

Looks a little too low in the front. I'd hate to daily drive that car.

Elove, do you NEED to roll your fenders or are you going with a more aggressive suspension setup? We didn't rub on the dragon.

Speaking of which, I need to roll and flare my fenders baddddddd.

Not going with a more aggressive suspension setup right now but it's almost time for new back tires and I was thinking about possibly going wider than the 275s. Not 100% yet though.

[Zya8187]

You said downtown right?

Fire+Ice in 5 Points is a great all-you-can-eat place, not really anything else like it. There's a big circle grille and you go to a buffet and pick out raw meats. Everything from scallops and shrimp to steak and burgers and veggies and house made sauces, you put it in a bowl and take it to the grille man and tell him how you want it all cooked. You can also get a salad while you're waiting, have some good drinks at your table, or crowd around the grille and check out what they are doing.

The food and drinks were great and I think it was only $12/person on a weeknight.

If you want more recommendations or a different area just say so. I like good restraunts. :D

Thanks man! So it's a mongolian buffet ? There use to be a kick @$$ one in PCB called House of Chan. I didn't know there was one anywhere else around. I'll def check it out man

[ExtaZ33]

Thanks man! So it's a mongolian buffet ? There use to be a kick @$$ one in PCB called House of Chan. I didn't know there was one anywhere else around. I'll def check it out man

http://www.fire-ice.com/

[AUtigers370z]

Exams are over and its time to get shmammered :D :D :D :cheers: !!!

[jthomas_50]

sweet.....we need to do a new year's party somewhere guys

[orangebyke]

[AUtigers370z]

sweet.....we need to do a new year's party somewhere guys

If yall are in Birmingham, I always have a lot of people over for drinking, blowing shit up and goin crazy! Call me if you're interested :D

[orangebyke]

^wow you just put an open invite on the internet. you are going to have 4 thousand people show up:)

[AUtigers370z]

^wow you just put an open invite on the internet. you are going to have 4 thousand people show up:)

Fixed :D

[04LemansZ]

Fixed :D
Too late, I already printed flyers to hand out.

[orangebyke]

i sent out a mass e-mail:p

[AUtigers370z]

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

[Zya8187]

sweet!! party at eric's I'll bring some hoes

[orangebyke]

ill bring the bucket. i never thought of washing the cars on new years eve

[jthomas_50]

I'm there for new years! PARTY AT ERICS>>>>>TELL YOUR FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ShiftZ]

Sweet!!!!!! PARTY AT ERIC'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

David make sure to pass out the flyers you printed all over Bham as well as stapling to any light pole or bulletin board you can find

[jthomas_50]

Sweet!!!!!! PARTY AT ERIC'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

David make sure to pass out the flyers you printed all over Bham as well as stapling to any light pole or bulletin board you can find

I'll put it on craigslist!

[04LemansZ]

Sweet!!!!!! PARTY AT ERIC'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

David make sure to pass out the flyers you printed all over Bham as well as stapling to any light pole or bulletin board you can find
When the rain stops I'm bustin' out the window chalk and chalking all the cars in the parking lot..."ERIC'S OR BUST."

Once my firewood is no longer "green" and will burn I will also send smoke signals to reach those that are farther away.

[jthomas_50]

When the rain stops I'm bustin' out the window chalk and chalking all the cars in the parking lot..."ERIC'S OR BUST."

Once my firewood is no longer "green" and will burn I will also send smoke signals to reach those that are farther away.

I'm gonna put flyers on the cars also!

[ShiftZ]

I would try to send the flyers out on carrier pigeons but all the rednecks would probably shoot them down before they got too far.

[jthomas_50]

I would try to send the flyers out on carrier pigeons but all the rednecks would probably shoot them down before they got too far.

Bill, the party is in BHam, not auburn, i don't think you have anything to worry about :)

[AUtigers370z]

Bill, the party is in BHam, not auburn, i don't think you have anything to worry about :)

Coming from MS you have to pass over Tuscaloosa way before you get to Auburn ;)

[jthomas_50]

Coming from MS you have to pass over Tuscaloosa way before you get to Auburn ;)

haha very true....I'd worry more about the thugs and criminals than rednecks though lol

[ExtaZ33]

Morning check-in bitches.

[04LemansZ]

Morning check-in bitches.
What up, what up? Just another day at the office.

[ExtaZ33]

What up, what up? Just another day at the office.

Same here man. Just tired of working on the same job and not finishing. Going to get this out of here today if it kills me.

Still boring around here though.

[ExtaZ33]

[OnADimePBS]

Exams are over and its time to get shmammered :D :D :D :cheers: !!!

Accomplished :wave:

[04LemansZ]

[ExtaZ33]

C-C-C-Combo Breaker!

[04LemansZ]

C-C-C-Combo Breaker!
I didn't realize "preserves" got posted twice. Facebook acting up FTL!

[ExtaZ33]

Fuckin with Noonan should be the new "messin with sasquatch".

[AUtigers370z]

Hahahaha. You guys are crazy.

[Southgachik]

Hi peeps :)


Do they make car parts? :D

no but we sellz them...


They don't make them, but they sell them...http://www.rxperformancemotors.com/. It's actually where I got wheels and TT kit way back in the day.

woo hoo... when you decide to come down here... come visit!


Andrea! Where ya been?

I've been trying to hit the gym this semester. It sucks going home b/c I know I won't do anything weight-related probably.

oh I'm here and there...


BTW, that girl flashing at ZDayZ...something about those bewbies...they are really pointy, almost too pointy, like party hats. I hope she doesn't belong to anyone here, if so, I'm sorry, just my opinion.

man the stations... those are some torpedoes!!


If yall are in Birmingham, I always have a lot of people over for drinking, blowing shit up and goin crazy! Call me if you're interested :D

haha... us Fl Z Chicks can come visit?? :D

[jthomas_50]

So, I'm sitting here at 1:40 and just thinking, why in the heck am I watching the preview channel on tv :)

[04LemansZ]

Morning all, last day of work until the new year. Yeah!

[ExtaZ33]

Morning all, last day of work until the new year. Yeah!

:rolleyes: I need a vacation...

Some friends of mine want to go to West Virginia to go skiing and it would be a blast, but with Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years being on Thursday this year it will be hard to get off work. They want to go for an entire week, which I just can't swing. :mad:

It would hardly be worth it to drive 10 hours there and 10 hours home for a 3 day weekend...it would turn into 1 day of fun.

[ExtaZ33]

At least I have Thursday/Friday next week and the week after. :D

[ExtaZ33]

I want to go back to New Orleans but the Bammers are going to be there for New Years and they smell weirder than the cajuns... :D

[04LemansZ]

I want to go back to New Orleans but the Bammers are going to be there for New Years and they smell weirder than the cajuns... :D
:angryFU: At least the Bammers have a bowl game to go to :D

[04LemansZ]

Found this on My350Z:



'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the forums
Not a user was posting, not even picture whorings;

The PMs were saved in the inbox with care,
In hopes that Andy@Performance soon would be there;

The sponsers were quiet all calm in their threads,
While visions of Works and Volks danced in their heads;

Nothing to do but to browse the Lounge and turn off the light,
I decided to just settle down for a long overnight,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I dropped the tissue and lotion to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, I gazed with my eyes and my lips aquiver,
A brown UPS truck, painted with the words "We Deliver",

My goods had finally come, and damn did I feel randy.
The driver then spoke, "Dude your pants are down. And by the way, the name's Andy".

It was him! I had so many things I wanted to ask him about,
And he simply nodded, "Settle down noob. No need to shout";

"Now, wheels! Now other mods and more! Just PM me and don't you fret!
Good deals for all! And yes we have that in aggressive offsets!

You need a drop? No worries we'll slam that ride!
Sit down son, not on stocks but on authentic Brides!"

As he continued on, I drooled a little and my hands started to shake
He looked at me and said "Don't worry, we have all brands, all makes"

So a price list Andy handed me, with a note "Just for you",
With suspension, bodykits, and even lugnuts too.

And then, in a rumble, I heard his exhaust
So sexy, so deep, it seemed my mind was lost

As I drew in my breath, and checked out his wares
He handed me pics of his rides as I stood and stared.

Some of the cars had stickers all over and I asked Andy if I could have some too,
"This isn't kindergarden and those aren't just stickers. Those are for sponsership fool";

A bundle of mods he had packed in his truck,
My jaw hit the floor as I said "wow holy ****".

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

He was like Santa, but better, a guy that knew what pimping a ride was about
He stopped me and said "Can you stop staring at me, you're freaking me out"

Back to his exhaust I looked as I gritted my teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had too much stuff available, everything on sale,
"Don't worry we got what you need, and you'll get it without fail".

I have to admit, I'm not into guys but he reminded me of Legolas; You know, the sexy kind of elf,
Then he showed me the new Volks that were coming, and I almost shat my pants in spite of myself;

Wait, how much will these cost? A slight shake of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but told me the deal,
"Just PM me and we'll get you a steal",

After showing me a spoiler and on a rear diffuser installed below,
I asked him for an autograph before he had to go

He sprang to his seat, engine started, with his keys in the lock,
He reminded me "that friends don't let friends drive stock".

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

[04LemansZ]

it never fails! Robert and Josh can attest to this. We can all three go somewhere and I'm always the one that people decide to park next to, even towards the back of the lot and in the rain :mad:

[04LemansZ]

I'm guessing the tag goes w/ the color of the car? I thought it was funny when I saw it.

[ExtaZ33]

it never fails! Robert and Josh can attest to this. We can all three go somewhere and I'm always the one that people decide to park next to, even towards the back of the lot and in the rain :mad:



Pinnacle?

[ExtaZ33]

Found this on My350Z:

Very funny.

[04LemansZ]

Pinnacle?
Nah, Target in T-Town.

[ExtaZ33]

When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense I...

[04LemansZ]

When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense I...
...accidentally the Fleshlight?

[ExtaZ33]

[ExtaZ33]

Wendy's has the best spicy chicken sandwich.

[04LemansZ]

Wendy's has the best spicy chicken sandwich.
Dang you, now I want to go get one...I have groceries I need to eat up.

[ExtaZ33]

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession.

"Of course, my son," said the priest.

"Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her."

"That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess," said the priest.

"It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors," continued the old man.

"Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk - you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest.

"Thanks, Father," said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?"

"Of course, my son," said the priest.

The old man asked, "Do I need to tell her that the war is over?"

[ExtaZ33]

Three guys and a girl are marooned on a desert island. After one week, the girl is so ashamed of what she's doing, she kills herself. After another week, the guys are so ashamed of what they're doing, they bury her.
After another week, they're so ashamed of what they're doing, they dig her up again.

[ExtaZ33]

Why I fired my Secretary...




Last week was my birthday
and I didn't feel very well
waking up on that morning..

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!",
and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
" Happy Birthday."

I thought...

Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids...
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! "
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !"

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?"

I responded,
"I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?"
She said,
"Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
" Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back."
"Ok." I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing "Happy Birthday".


And I just sat there...



On the couch...



Naked.

[ExtaZ33]

Q.) What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, and Blowjob?
A.) Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a
blowjob.

Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A.) So men can be open minded.

Q.) What's the speed limit of sex?
A.) 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.

Q.) What does a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

Q.) Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A.) "Is it in?"

Q.) What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A.) A red headed ***** with a yeast infection.

Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A.) One of his fingers is clean.

Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q.) What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.

[ExtaZ33]

The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating
enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking
about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if
they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen
bring up the subject of sex.
"Just how do you guys do it?" asks Maureen. "Pretty much the way
you do," responds the Martian.
Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners
for the night and experience one another. Maureen and the male Martian
go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny,
weeny member - about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick.
"I don't think this is going to work," says Maureen.
"Why?" he asks, "What's the matter?"
"Well," she replies, "It's just not long enough to reach me!"
"No problem," he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with
his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until
it's quite impressively long.
"Well," she says, "That's quite impressive, but it's still pretty
narrow...." "No problem," he says, and starts pulling his ears.
With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire
measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.
"Wow!" she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love.
The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go
their separate ways.
As they walk along, Mike asks "Well, was it any good?"
"I hate to say it," says Maureen, "but it was pretty wonderful.
How about you?"
"It was horrible," he replies, All I got was a headache.
All she kept doing the whole time was slapping my forehead and
pulling my ears."

[ExtaZ33]

how do you know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama?


If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush!

[ExtaZ33]

There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him.
So first he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need"), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.
Finally the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jack off. The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy: "You idiot, I was trying to say, I need a hand saw". The other guy replied: "I know, I was trying to tell you that "I am coming...".

[ExtaZ33]

Black kid comes running home after school, all excited. He runs into the kitchen and says "Mom, mom! The kids and the teacher in the locker room after gym class say that I have the biggest d!ck in the 5th grade! Is that 'cuz I'm black, mom?"

Mom says "Naw n!gga, it's 'cuz you 19!"

[ExtaZ33]

A man asks a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant.
So the waiter takes the Merlot to the woman and says,
"This is from the gentleman who is seated over there." ..and indicated the sender with a nod of his head.
She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds,
not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by note.
The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response,
took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.
The note read:
"For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants "
After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.
It read:
"Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be, I have a Twin turbo Nissan 350Z, Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen , Miami , and a
10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana . There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you are, would I cut off three inches. Just send the bottle back."

[04LemansZ]

Nice Buddy.

[ExtaZ33]

Nice Buddy.

Gotta get that post count up! :cool:

[rbruditt]

A man asks a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant.
So the waiter takes the Merlot to the woman and says,
"This is from the gentleman who is seated over there." ..and indicated the sender with a nod of his head.
She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds,
not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by note.
The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response,
took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.
The note read:
"For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants "
After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.
It read:
"Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be, I have a Twin turbo Nissan 350Z, Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen , Miami , and a
10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana . There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you are, would I cut off three inches. Just send the bottle back."

haha

[Southgachik]

Dayum Buddy...

[Bama Z]

You know how I know that story is fake?... He'd have a twin turbo 300zx not 350! :D

[ExtaZ33]

Dayum Buddy...

What you mean? Just trying to spread the lulz. :D

[04LemansZ]

What you mean? Just trying to spread the lulz. :D
I dunno if any of them are as good as the Noonan lulz :D

[04LemansZ]

Finally in Birmingham, let the rest and relaxation begin!

[AUtigers370z]

Heading to B'ham in 6 hours! :D

[Zya8187]

Thanks for the Fire + Ice suggestion. It was awesome man.

TSO was also amazing

[ExtaZ33]

Thanks for the Fire + Ice suggestion. It was awesome man.

TSO was also amazing

Glad you enjoyed it. What is TSO exactly?

We went and saw Avenue Q at the BJCC Friday night and checked out the Icon restaurant in the Tutwiler. Parked right out front, got awesome service, and great food. You know it's going to be good when there's only 6 entrees to chose from. :D

[ExtaZ33]

How to tell if you've been married too long.....
>
> Three women: one engaged,
> one married, and one a mistress, are
> chatting about their relationships
> and decided to amaze their men by
> surprising them wearing black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask.
> After a few days they meet
> up for lunch and compare notes...
>
> The engaged woman:
> The other night when my boyfriend
> came over he
> found me with a black leather bodice,
> stilettos and a mask.
> He saw me and said,
> 'You are the woman of my life.
> I love you.' Then we made love
> all night long.
>
> The mistress: Me too!
> The other night I met my lover at his office
> and I was wearing
> the leather bodice,
> heels, mask over my eyes and a
> raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had
> wild sex all night.
>
> The married woman:
> When my husband came home
> I was wearing the
> leather bodice, black stockings,
> stilettos and a mask over my eyes.
> As soon
> as he came in the door
> and saw me he said,
>
> 'What's for dinner, Batman?'

[Zya8187]

What is TSO exactly?

Trans Siberian Orchestra

[ExtaZ33]

Which does BamaGZ prefer? Personally, "B" drives me insane.

[AUtigers370z]

Hahaha B drives me crazy too!

[PearlWhite03]

A

I will switch it if somebody set it up as B.

[ShiftZ]

Which does BamaGZ prefer? Personally, "B" drives me insane.



This needs to be a separate poll. And yeah B would drive me crazy

[04LemansZ]

Definitely A FTW! Who puts toilet paper on as B? They should be punched.

[Southgachik]

haha... it always goes on as B at my house! :P

so do the paper towels...

Don't punch me!! :(

[orangebyke]

i prefer it to be there when i need it.

[AUtigers370z]

December is coming to an end thus making this thread obsolete! Hark!! Better get all of your December post whoring out of the way ASAP!

[Jamaica2G]

Freaking A,. I never

[Jamaica2G]

saw this

[Jamaica2G]

Damn thread!

How were your Christmases?

[Jamaica2G]

Anyone get parts for Christmas?

[Jamaica2G]

One of my New years resolutions is to NOT buy any car mods in 2009.

[Jamaica2G]

If I can accomplish that, I'll feel better trying to acquire a TT kit in 2010 hahah

[Jamaica2G]

I'm slutting all over this thread!

I'm only going to install parts that I have sitting in my garage right now... Strut bar, MP3 Hard drive and maybe re-arrange stereo parts .

[Jamaica2G]

This is how I know I'm in Alabama, or should I say "the south"- you actually posted this.

I'm also offended even though I don't refer to myself as a Nigger

[Jamaica2G]

Here is me being a post whore while being a pic whore. :D

While this thread doesn't have a topic at all, I have decided I need a name for my Z, suggestions ?



Male or Female?

Do you get into males? :humpsheep:

[AUtigers370z]

Haha Adrian

[AUtigers370z]

You definitely took full advantage of this thread :ninja:

[ShiftZ]

One of my New years resolutions is to NOT buy any car mods in 2009.

I cant make that resolution. I know it is one I will break.

[ShiftZ]

You definitely took full advantage of this thread :ninja:

Speaking of whores...how are you Eric?

[04LemansZ]

I know I'm buying mods in '09...

[ShiftZ]

I know I'm buying mods in '09...

What ya going to get?

[04LemansZ]

What ya going to get?
Nismo V2 front bumper w/ carbon fiber canards maybe...still need sides/rears, suspension stuff, plenum spacer...you name it, I need it :)

[ShiftZ]

Nismo V2 front bumper w/ carbon fiber canards maybe...still need sides/rears, suspension stuff, plenum spacer...you name it, I need it :)

Since I can only find the V2 in FRP I am out on that one. If I could find it in poly I might consider it. JDM Nismo sides ftw!!!!!! You never got a spacer? Josh had a few left last I heard. Better hurry now that pure is dead and Josh has moved on to other things. Nismo suspension is going to cost you, but I might be able to help with the price on that.

[AUtigers370z]

Speaking of whores...how are you Eric?

Haha good man. How are you? Keepin my girlfriend Kimmi under control? :D PS - when are you going to come up to B'ham and see us? I miss my teddy bear ;)

[ShiftZ]

Haha good man. How are you? Keepin my girlfriend Kimmi under control? :D PS - when are you going to come up to B'ham and see us? I miss my teddy bear ;)

Kimmi is all yours man...as for the Teddy bear comment, I will deal with that on my next trip through. I was in Bama in Mid-December and met up with David. Where were you then?

[04LemansZ]

Since I can only find the V2 in FRP I am out on that one. If I could find it in poly I might consider it. JDM Nismo sides ftw!!!!!! You never got a spacer? Josh had a few left last I heard. Better hurry now that pure is dead and Josh has moved on to other things. Nismo suspension is going to cost you, but I might be able to help with the price on that.
I'm getting USDM sides...I'm pretty sure the JDM sides are fiberglass.

[Bama Z]

Happy New Years Eve! :cheers: And remember to keep yourselves and your Z/G's safe!

[jthomas_50]

Happy New Years Eve! :cheers: And remember to keep yourselves and your Z/G's safe!

very true.....*cough* david *cough*

Happy New Years everyone